Last week my youngest started back to school which kind of changes our whole Monday through Friday routine.  I try to swim Monday through Thursday every week and so now my time has changed. With Covid, swimming has been now a coveted thing.  There are only 4 available lanes and as a technicality now, they only want one person per lane.  Pre covid it was common place to ask to share a lane with someone which still isn't the ideal swimming situation but a beggar can't be a chooser.  With the change in time has come change in availability of swimming lanes.  There are 4 men who swim at the exact same time I do except they get there before me so I would be the fifth person....the beggar.  

The last few mornings I show up and sit to see if someone will invite me.  Two different gentlemen have.  Both of them happened to be on the lanes that are closest to the pool wall.  When you swim next to the pool wall, you get the most resistance from the water. Everyone's waves bounce off that wall and back to you.  Both men let me swim but I get the closest to wall.

This morning I got in and started in and within 5 minutes felt like I had been running a marathon.  I couldn't figure out why this mornings swim was so hard.  I realized what position I was in and also when you share a lane you have your wave and theirs.  If you are swimming right behind them it actually is helpful but when you are swimming going separate ways it adds to the resistance.  

I was reminded this morning that often times we think that we are all having the same experience because we are in the same pool.  The guy though that has the middle lanes is having a different experience than I am.  He has resistance too from the water and just by the nature of being in a pool, but the amount between him and I is different.  He also is physically stronger than I am, younger than I am and who knows what other factors are there.  None of this really matters unless he or I are trying to compare water experiences or expectations of what we can do.  If I get in the water and I'm in the position I am in, I can get discouraged.  I can look at everyone else and think why are they faster, better, whatever than me.  I can also be the other guy and think that the guy on the wall is having the exact same experience that I am.

Why does it matter?  It matters because what I think I know.  Just because someone is in the same pool with you doesn't mean that they are having the same experience.  It doesn't mean you know exactly what they are going through.  You definitely have an idea because you are both swimming in the same water so you have the shared experience.  I lose empathy and the ability to see and hear someone when I assume that I know anything.  My job with people is to get understanding in any conversation that I have with them.  It can be as simple as their day.  I am looking to understand how they have been experiencing life, not how I think that they should experience life.  There is a woman named Sarah Schlote that said the definition of attunement is "being seen, being heard, feeling felt, and getting gotten."  I love this as the standard that I have with myself when I am interacting with others.  To truly understand someone they need to know that they are being seen, being heard, feeling felt and getting gotten when they are with me.

The second part of this though is how do I treat myself and also what season am I in?  Sometimes in the pool of life I am in the middle lane.  Totally participating and engaged, it's just easier.  Sometimes I am in the same pool and it's a struggle and the struggle isn't swimming in the pool, it's where I am swimming in the pool.  And just for reference, you should be swimming in different lanes.  You are not always in the same season.  

Right now my swimming life is mirroring my real life.  Let me tell you that when I am in the pool I am looking for any chance to have my own lane and even better, not one next to the wall.  Any chance I get I take that because my goal is to swim 4 days a week.  That is enough of a discipline for me.  Lately though it's been I don't swim or I swim by the wall in a lane with someone else.  I've thought many times of just not going or going at a different time.  The issue is that swimming is part of my way I keep myself in a good place and if I don't go right after I drop my daughter off, often times I don't end up going because the second I walk into work, I now have other things that become important.  I find I miss a lot more if I don't just go the first thing.  I am a person that would rather be in the pool be it not the best swim I've ever had than not get in the pool at all.

Have some grace for yourself in every season you are in.  Your job is to participate in life.  Every time you get in the pool it's a win.

Today I have been thinking a lot about peace. Where can I find it, how did I lose it and what does it really look like or mean?
I have had a battle with anxiety my whole life. It’s a mental health issue for me not just a bad day but I have been completely debilitated by it so peace and I have had our struggles. Mostly my struggle on where to find it. For me peace is probably one the highest value kingdom commodity because of the struggle I have been through to find it and keep it.
There’s different types of what people would describes peace I’m finding. Some of those I believe you can find in the natural but there’s one that can only be found supernaturally.
Peace is found when chaos ends. Ask any mother who’s baby finally decided to sleep and not just sleep but deep sleep. That mom looks at that baby and she knows on the inside of her, for 1 hour or two hours that nothing will bother that child and therefore she finally has a few moments where she finds peace because she knows she can actually rest. This is a form of peace…a good one. There’s environmental peace. Go sit by the ocean, go stand in the woods. There’s something in it that brings peace. It’s not the absence of sound because the ocean is loud. There’s something in the environment that brings our inside to a place of peace.
There’s another type of peace when you are in distress and no answers and somehow, a solution comes up. In that moment your mind and your body rests. It knows that things are lined up again. There’s peace when you’ve been in physical pain and finally it either goes away or you get medical relief. Your body goes from intense stress to release. There’s 100 examples of natural peace.
There’s another type of peace that is supernatural and can only be obtained that way. This type of peace is a person and is a fruit of being aligned with Him. This transcending peace is important because it transcends circumstances. No circumstance actually has to change for me to experience this type of peace which is what makes it supernatural. Each of the other things had something change.
This week while lying in a hospital bed I had many struggles finding peace. We did some natural things, (got me out of pain, breathing, Ativan helped) but I would still lay in bed with this sense of dread. I wanted quiet so much I didn’t turn on a tv for 3 days. I was in a room alone and most of that time I spent just laying quiet. I didn’t read. I didn’t talk. I was just looking for peace and quiet. There were times when even in that I couldn’t find it.
A friend texted me a playlist of healing scriptures and told me that they had been listening to them several times a day and that it really helped. This friend has some serious heath issues they are facing and I figured if it’s helping her, I’ll try it. I took my phone and put it by my head, closed my eyes and played it. A man started speaking healing scripture after scripture and I laid there and listened. Many of them I knew by heart. In that moment, I found Him. Nothing changed in me. My circumstances were the exact same but I was not the same. My spirit connected with Peace and that’s where I found rest and supernatural peace. I found it in a person.
I want to encourage us today. We are in a season where we need supernatural peace. There are situations that people are facing that they won’t find peace without it. You would either have to stick your head in the sand and ignore life or live in torment. There’s just no natural way of overcoming it. There is a supernatural way though.
I’m learning that in this season that peace is a spirit problem fixed by spending time with God. It sounds cliche but it’s not. I’m big on taking care of all three parts, body, soul and spirit and equally and that still applies. What I am saying is in this season if you are having trouble finding peace, start with the spirit. Your spirit needs to be like a heat seeking missile locked on to Him to find and keep your peace. It’s super important right now to do because the peace I get is the peace I can give and extend to others. Right now this world can use a lot of peace.
Here is the link to the scriptures. https://music.apple.com/.../healing-from-on-high/426617915
https://www.bennyhinn.org/hs/